We were all self-absorbed teenagers once, and it is likely if you’ve written fanfiction, at least one of them featured you at the center. After all, didn’t we all sit around wishing we could join our favorite characters in their world? I think for some of us, a lot of the reason we got hooked on fanfiction writing in the first place was the ability to do this. While the directors of our favorite tv shows or the authors of our favorite books couldn’t give us a character, we certainly could.
I discussed in my “Get to Know Me” post that even after I graduated from fanfiction writing, I struggled with another problem. The dreaded self insert character. Now please keep in mind, I don’t mean to use that word disparagingly. Many an author or lover of books will tell you that having characters with some base-level of humanity that you’ve encountered in your real life, through yourself or those around you, can be a boon to your work.
You might want to instill your father’s passion for woodworking, your own appreciation for the color turquoise, or your sister’s quirk of always circling a parking lot twice before picking a spot. These things can add depth and understanding to your characters. Relatability is incredibly important when you’re writing a character. If someone can pick out a person in their real life, whether it’s themselves or someone else, and recognize one of their traits, that will automatically make that character richer.
But in my case, I caught the self insert bug and I caught it bad. We’re talking the kind of characters that I would look in the mirror to describe. They were usually my own take on a perfect me. Even saying that now makes me shudder. And I just did that on repeat, over and over, plunked myself in every world I desired.
Looking back now, I know it wasn’t a bad thing, but it never fails to make me cringe. At the end of the day it honed my creative muscles. I won’t go full first world problems on anyone in this post, but I believe that writing these self insert monstrosities and having myself fall in love with Murtagh, Draco, and many others saved me from the crushing realities of public school. School was exhausting at best and emotionally traumatic at worst for me and I now realize that writing these characters was an emotional release, and an escape from these realities. Writing was and is my most valued coping mechanism.
But how does one stop writing the same protagonist in every story? This was a question that I started struggling with in the early days of high school. It was the question that frustrated me to no end. It didn’t matter what kind of genre I tried or what setting I plopped my characters in, the protagonist was always me. Like trying a new Skyrim build and grunting at your stealth archer an hour later, I would poke my head out of the story.
I realized very quickly the limits of only being able to write a blonde haired, blue eyed, hourglass shaped shy girl turned baddie by exceptional spy skills, magical abilities, or billion dollar parents. I may not have known that by the time I was 23 I would have almost 30 book ideas lingering in my drawer, but I knew I wasn’t a one hit wonder. But to have more than one story you need to have more than one protagonist.
When I finally broke through the self insert wall, I had started a story about a self insert girl in a small village named Camaria, a red headed man named Gavin, and a gorgon named Sebastien. I really liked the premise of this book, but was frustrated with the protagonist. After all, I already had a blonde haired blue eyed main character in another book. I knew I wanted her to stay the same, and I didn’t want any carbon copy characters. In other words, that protagonist worked, and I just didn’t feel like this one did. I loved my villain, the book had a strong start, and I had already fallen in love with several characters. But not having likeable protagonists can only work sometimes, and I knew it wouldn’t fly in this book.
Sitting back and thinking on it, I realized that in my entire writing career, I had never written a male protagonist. Male characters of course, but the spotlight was never fully on them. The thought made me uncomfortable. After all, how could I write what I wasn’t in the starring role? I know it seems silly, but it was a very real barrier to me at one point in my life.
But I had decided that I wanted to be a writer. And in order to be a writer, I knew I had to take risks and leave my comfort zone.
I didn’t have any new shiny story ideas that I felt like writing at that moment, so I decided to do something I had never done in my entire life. I picked up a hammer and charged into that story swinging. In other words, I decided to shake shit up. I pulled out a trick that fanfiction uses to excite their readers.
As I said before, I was already in love with my villain. Efah is a Cruella Deville meets Morticia Adams enchantress of darkness; my Queen. Gender bending her would have undone her character. However, few others were safe. I decided to gender bend my main character into a new Gavin; a half elf child prodigy who’s very existence outshines the entire village. The old red headed Gavin gender bent into Ragna, a fiery red headed baddie with a very dark secret. A previously unimportant side character who I had already planned to die in the first couple of chapters came forward and told me he wanted to play a larger role. So I made some adjustments and he became my true protagonist; the younger brother of Gavin, Nedheg, a drab half elf with an affinity for dragons who is constantly fighting to throw off his brother’s shadow and shine on his own.
And just like that I was free from the self insert trap. I slowly learned to incorporate unique and memorable protagonists who weren’t just me. Since then I’ve come up with several more strong male protagonists, and some equally as awesome female ones. The key was to write some characters that were basically the opposite of me. This forced me to consider other perspectives and inevitably led to better characters.
I am still learning to write better characters every day. Some days I revamp old ones and others I trash characters completely and start over. Wait for the characters to speak to you. When they do that, you know you’re winning.
Thank you for reading! Check out another one of my posts or even my Kofi if you’d like to bless me with caffeine so I can write faster.
Writing My World 